Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.

Every large organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Some monkeys want to get to the top. Other monkeys are happy where they are. The monkeys at the top look down and see nothing but smiling faces. The monkeys at the bottom look up and see a bunch of assholes.

Religion.

How religion works

I recently came across this article that involved this experiment. 5 monkeys were put in a cage together and a banana was hung from the ceiling with a ladder placed underneath it. When one monkey would climb the ladder they would all be sprayed with cold water. When another monkey would go to get the banana the same would happen to him and all of his friends. This happened until the monkeys learned the “lesson” climbing the ladder would result in being sprayed with cold water. Once those 5 monkeys knew what was going to happen if they did try to climb the ladder they replaced one monkey. As predicted the new monkey raced to get the banana but knowing the consequences of climbing the ladder the 4 other monkeys grabbed the new monkey and beat him up. This new monkey now knows no climbing the ladder and no banana without knowing why in the first place. The scientists continued this until all the monkeys were replaced and each monkey got the same treatment, try to get the banana, get beat up, when arriving to the new cage, Now all these new monkeys have never received the cold water treatment but every time a new monkey tried to climb the ladder they remaining 4 monkeys would beat the new one up only because the “rule” had already been set in place even though those monkeys really had no idea why.

This is basically how religion works. Maybe our ancestors were punished to the point that our whole society won’t “climb the ladder” of religion and question it’s purpose.  But I sure as hell won’t be one of those monkeys. I will make it to the banana and reap the benefits of a delicious treat for not letting people pull me down and beat me up for what I choose not to follow blindly.

Things the bible bans but people do anyways

I just think its funny when you bring this up to christains and they say “times have changed” but when its about gay marriage they still hold strong about it being “wrong” because the bible says so. Here’s a few things that the bible bans that almost everyone does anyways, Including devoted Christians.

1) Round Haircuts:

Remember in 4th grade all the boys in your class had bowl cuts? yeah theyre all going to hell according to Leviticus. Leviticus 19:27 reads “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”

2) Football:

I remember when my mom used to take me to church my priest used to bring up football quite often and my church school was canceled Superbowl sunday. *facepalm* (it really just applies to the real pigskin footballs but they still played it before the synthetic footballs.) Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads “You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.” This also applies to eating pork. So if you eat a ham on Christmas or Easter like my family does. You’re going against the bible on a holiday dedicated to being Christian. Good job, Christians, good job.

3) Fortune telling

This doesn’t just apply to the fortune telling that you pay for. Y’know what I’m talking about? Those people in the mall that tell you your future and all that stuff. (I’ve never done it before because I’ve got better things to spend $10 on). If you’ve read a horoscope in the paper or those things on Facebook that post to your wall everyday, or opened a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant and read the fortune. It’s all the same. Leviticus 19:31 reads “Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.” The penalty for that?  Check Leviticus 20:6: “As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.”

4) (WARNING: May not be appropriate for kids) Pulling out

The bible doesn’t say much about birth control but back then no one anticipated the condom so they don’t get a specific ban. But pulling out does, this verse is used as an anti-masturbation rhetoric is actually anti-pull out. It’s Genesis 38:9-10: “Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.”

5) Tattoos:

I don’t know how many tattoos I’ve seen that have to do with religion or Jesus or bible versus. sometimes I think people only listen to what they hear in church and that they don’t even read the bible anymore. When my grandmother was younger she had to read the bible. there was no questioning it or getting out of it. This is what the bible says about it. Leviticus 19:28 reads, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.”

6) Polyester or any other fabric blend:

The bible doesn’t want you to wear blends because it’s unnatural. Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”

7) D-I-V-O-R-C-E:

Yup, that spells divorce. Millions of devoted Christians get divorced every year. Do they know its a sin? or do they just not care that they’re going to hell? According to Mark 10:8, you “are no longer two, but one flesh.”  And, Mark 10:9 reads, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Then later Mark says that if you do get married again you’re committing adultery against your previous wife/husband.

8) Letting people without testicles into church:

Whether you been castrated or lost them to cancer doesn’t matter, the bible doesn’t say. It just says you can’t pray. Deuteronomy 23:1 reads (this is the God’s Word translation, which spells it out better), “A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord.” The next verse says that if you’re a bastard, the child of a bastard or even have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild of a bastard, you can’t come to church. Deuteronomy 23:2 says, “No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord.”

9) Wearing gold:

I don’t really have anything to say to this one. I don’t know what Christian that doesn’t have a gold cross on a gold chain. 1 Timothy 2:9 says “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

10) Eating Shellfish:

Do you like lobster? Crab? Well better give it all up if you want to stay out of hell. Leviticus 11:10 reads, “But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you.” Not to mention all the other animals Leviticus bans.

11) Gossiping:

Leviticus 19:16 states, “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor; I am the LORD.” So if you talk about other people then you’re going to hell.

12) Children cursing their parents:

Exodus 21:17 states, “And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.” Welp I’m dead and so is my mother and father and my cousins and my friends and most people in this generation.

13) Working on the Sabbath:

Working on the sabbath; Exodus 31:14 states, “Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: everyone that defileth it shall surely be put to death…” I wonder if this would be a good excuse for getting off work. Even though im atheist I might try this someday.

14) Women speaking in church.

At my old church women would be the ones who read from the bible and women sang in the choir. 1 Corinthians 14:34 states, “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it
is not permitted unto them to speak…” Sexist much?

15) Losing your virginity before marriage.

Some (not most) still follow this one. But not as many as you’d hope. A friend of mine went to a catholic schools and in her high school years there were at least 8 girls that were pregnant. That’s just the ones who didn’t practice safe sex. That’s a pretty high number. When I was in public high school I only heard of maybe 5 that got pregnant. Again that’s only the ones who didn’t practice safe sex. But here’s what Deuteronomy has to say about pre-marital sex; Deuteronomy 22:20-21 state, “But if this thing be true, and the tokens of
virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to
the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with
stones that she die…” Also if a woman is raped, the bible says she is supposed to marry her rapist. MARRY HIM? This shit was acceptable back then. I’m pretty sure if I was raped I’d want to kill my rapist not marry him. God sure knows how to treat women doesn’t he?

So you see trying to claim something should be illegal because the bible bans it is, is just plain stupid and silly and unnecessary. I’m gunna take a wild guess here and say most of you have broken most if not all of these “rules” put in place by the bible. Whether or not you believe same sex marriage is right or wrong. I don’t think the bible should dictate how people live. If you don’t want a same sex marriage don’t get one. Don’t ruin happiness for someone else.

This really wasn’t supposed to be about same sex marriage but I guess it is now oh well. I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have anything you’d like for me to talk about next let me know. I’m going to try to post every day or at least 5 times a week. If you did enjoy this post follow me for more just like this. Have a great night 🙂